My weight has yo-yo’d from 120 to 180 (225 if you count pregnancy) for the last 15 years. A “healthy” weight for my height is 108-145lbs. I’m 170-ish right now.
Whenever I tell someone that I want to lose 50lbs they always say “you’ll be skin and bones” but I know that’s not true. I was a size 6 at 120lbs–thin, but not exactly skin and bones.
Now that I’m older and post baby, I’ve largely given up on the dreams of looking good in a bikini (for the record, I never did, and unless I splurge on major plastic surgery, I never will.) But — I’m extremely committed to getting back to a healthy weight (120-130 is my goal) and doing this in a healthy AND sustainable way.
I’ve recently found Intermittent Fasting and seeing the results of others truly inspires me. It feels like the kind of lifestyle change I can stick with–although it will be hard on my (non existent) social life to not drink after 8pm, with a 12-8pm eating and drinking period. But that’s probably for the better anyway–I can have a glass of wine with dinner, I don’t need to be binge drinking until the wee hours of the morning. I’m not 21 anymore and it seems every time I drink I do something stupid anyway. Not flattering on a 21 year old and certainly not flattering on a 36 year old.
It seems people are able to lose substantial amounts of weight on IF without majorly changing their diet or exercise routine. I’m going to do something a little different on IF — I’m going to make sure I’m eating ENOUGH calories. I want to eat 1800 calories a day of generally “clean” foods and go for walks and see what that does for January. I’d love to get under 160 by Feb 1. If I stick to IF, I feel like I can. Sticking to it will be a huge challenge, but y’all know me, I love a good seemingly impossible challenge…
Financially speaking, being healthy saves so much money over a lifetime! I’m still pissed that my life insurance costs and arm and a leg and both my butt cheeks because I have depression (fuck you insurance companies) but at least I can minimize the cost of medical treatments later in life if I get myself to a health weight (and I might even save on not having to pay for infertility treatments to have kid #2 — a goal for next year, post losing some weight and getting my mental health in order!)
There are many similarities between a shopping addiction and eating addiction, or any other addiction for that matter. Mostly, you are ashamed of your addiction. You want to do it alone. You feel some sort of power in that you’re doing it alone, that you have control over this one thing in your life, despite it being so out of control.
I feel very fortunate to not have any “other” addictions beyond eating and shopping – those are enough to handle on their own. I’m also very fortunate to not have a gene where my weight balloons regardless of how much I eat. My eating addition shows, but at 150lbs I’m more unhealthy inside than out.
For shopping, it’s my credit card bill that gets “fat.” I purposefully lost my credit card last month to stop myself. It’s not that I spend and spend, it’s just that the idea of having a credit card is that you can pay for something later. That little psychological switch makes rationality hard to grasp. It’s easy to buy something here and something else there, and before you know it you owe quite a bit of money. You need financial weight watchers.
This year, I really want to focus on getting healthy in both of these areas. Last night, I was bad. I came home and ate an entire box of bagel bites. Alone, those 500 calories would not be the end of the world, I probably hadn’t eaten more than 1000 calories earlier in the day. But then my roommate offered me a box of Oreos. I never buy Oreos for myself, and I love them so much, and I couldn’t resist.
One thing I’m looking forward to in life is moving in with my boyfriend. While we both have an eating addiction, we both realize that the worst thing to do is have food like that in the house. I’m excited about splitting the grocery bill and cooking for both of us when we live together.
How do you evade temptation?
My Chase Freedom and American Express Blue Cash cards both arrived in the mail today. While I’m terrified of credit cards, I’ve decided it’s about time to really start building my credit score. I have a bunch of open credit cards and according to a recent credit check I’m in the 730 range, but I still want to up that credit score so one day when I want to buy a house (or condo) I can get a good mortgage rate.
Anyway, I finally gave in and got these two credit cards. I don’t know if they’ll help or hurt my credit score, but I’m going to start spending on them each month and paying off my balances at the end of the month. I’ll only buy what I can afford. Period.
So I went food shopping today. At the “cheaper” (aka non-organic, non fancy) supermarket in town. Safeway. I spent $169.99. I supposedly saved $41.34 on buying things one sale w/ my “club card.” I did spend extra time picking out things on sale.
I went a little overboard on buying spices this month, but I don’t really have any spices and if I’m going to start cooking more, I need some more spices. I tried to buy ones that were on sale! Thank goodness for credit cards.
Without further ado, here’s what I got for that $169.99
$1.39 – Jumbo Taco Shells
$1.11 – Canned Corn
$3.89 – Cooking Spray (non brand Pam)
$3.69 – Paprika (spice)
$3.29 – Bread Cracker Stuff
$3.27 – Spice Island Mustard (spice)
$3.75 – Thyme (spice)
$3.99 – spinach tortellini
$3.99 – three cheese tortellini
$3.73 – garlic powder (spice)
$2.71 – basil (spice)
$3.00 – butternut squash soup
$5.00 – 4 Tuna Salad Lunch
$.99 – plastic spoons
$1.66 – steamed vegetables (frozen)
$5.29 – kashi lime shrimp frozen dinner
$4.99 – liquid egg whites
$2.50 – shredded cheddar cheese
$2.69 – fat free milk
$4.49 – cottage cheese
$2.49 – lowfat yogurt
$5.49 – frozen strawberries
$4.50 – frozen blueberries
$3.49 – frozen quesadillas
$3.00 – frozen veggie bites
$9.00 – three boxes of morningstar frozen meatless buffalo wings
$1.39 – banquet fish stick meal
$6.76 – four cheese and beans burritos (frozen)
$5.00 – two cheese quesadillas (frozen)
$3.99 – a fitness magazine. To inspire me to workout.
$3.39 – bread
$4.00 – frozen fried fish
$2.50 – frozen fish
$2.50 – frozen fish
$5.99 – stuffed salmon frozen
$6.23 – Rockfish Fillet (not frozen)
$3.45 – five kiwis
$2.45 – three sweet potatoes
$2.00 – raisin boxes
$2.00 – two bags of baby carrots
$2.99 – bag of four avocados
$2.99 – veggie turkey slices
$7.98 – two boxes of veggie buffalo wings (non frozen)
$3.00 – blueberries (non frozen)
$3.99 – vegetable mix
$3.50 – cheese whole wheat tortellini