Category Archives: Budget

Budget

Budget Review: March Spending $14.6k

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I know people are shocked by how much I say we spend in a month (even in a low-spend month) so below I’m sharing our March expenses to explain where the money is going…

While we certainly can cut from the budget below, this is a realistic ‘tight’ budget for a month. It would be more comfortable to plan for $16k a month expenses. I don’t think we can easily spend a lot more than $16k a month either. While that’s a lot of money to spend per month, I also want to share how it would be difficult for us to need more than this, especially once we have superfunded the 529s and completed funding our retirement account, so savings is no longer needed.

TOTAL *EXPENSES* (Non Savings): $14,668

LIFE: $2928.69

  • Kids – $521.16
  • Home Products – $298.66
  • Hobbies (Photography) – $100
  • Personal Care – $0 (*covid times = no hair cuts etc, normally would be ~$300)
  • Shopping etc, Her – $781.09 (*includes gifts for kids)
  • Shopping etc, Him – $583.89
  • Snacks & Drinks – $168.71
  • Entertainment – $54.98
  • Vacation – $200 (set aside for a future month)
  • Gifts – $141.11
  • Subscriptions – $78.99

FOOD: $2049.34

  • Dining Out – $659.96
  • Groceries – $1389.38

MEDICAL: $449.76

  • Life Insurance $200 (*Her’s only, He still needs to get it)
  • Medical, Other: $249.76

TRANSPORTATION: $840.61

  • Gas $140.61
  • Insurance $100
  • Maintain $100
  • Future Car: $500

HOME – $8400

  • Mortgage – $5000 (*our family renter is contributing to this total, but including without his contribution here as this is our true expense should he no longer be able to live with us)
  • Taxes – $2200
  • Insurance – $100
  • Electric/Gas – $330
  • Water – $150
  • Gardener – $150
  • Internet/Phone- $470
Budget

Adulting Hardcore is Challenging for this ADHD Adult

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I’m TRYING to get my life together before I am paying someone to help me wipe my butt because I can no longer do it myself. I have no idea how to manage everything required of being an adult while also saving for (early) retirement while also trying to enjoy life. I get little glimmers of joy out of seeing my kids smile or learn something new every now and again, but for the most part I just feel like I’m stuck in this never-ending horror story at worst or a very bad book that’s too long with no actual plot line or conclusion at best.

What I want… is to feel like I can afford a fairly basic life (which I guess is a fairly fancy life–but to afford taking care of a house and a family and still have money left over to save) while I also am not locked into a career that has me on the verge of a mental breakdown pretty much every second of the day (though that may be the case in any career.)

I’ve put together a new family budget that’s still on the lower-end of what I’d like to be able to spend, and it’s not pretty. I’m tracking it in YNAB to try to actually start budgeting vs just hoping that I get my bonus and stock to pay my bills and save adequately. I feel sad that there seems to be no “winning” this game–the best I can do is try really hard to maintain a job that pays better than I expect to be paid for the next 30 years. Once the house is paid off then… I guess, at 67, we’ll be in better shape?

But as I see many get sick or pass away in their late 60s, I feel sick thinking of trying to make it until then to enjoy life. Even if I live to 100, this doesn’t mean my loved ones will. I keep thinking about how men die younger… how my husband turns 40 next year… (I’m not far behind)… how maybe he has 25 years left to live. I mean, my dad died at 67. It’s difficult to process how short life really is. These are the good years. As long as everyone in our family remains healthy. My kids are young, we’re in our prime, I guess — but it doesn’t feel good at all. It feels terrifying. It feels like I’m watching life slip away and the best I can do is try to plan for what job I’ll get next after whatever one I’m in currently falls apart.

This budget seems impossible, both in that it requires way too much spending AND does not really allow me to spend what I want to spend. Boo hoo, I know, I’m a spoiled brat. But I want to be able to take family photos and go on vacation and dine out and send my kids to summer camp. All “wants” for sure, but why does the next person deserve these things more (or less) than I do? Yea, maybe I should have married someone who cared about earning more income, but given that he doesn’t care he’s actually earning a lot and still able to take care of our kids part time. But I don’t see him earning more… ever… which means I’m just – stuck. And I think the weight of that has really hit me lately. That I have 30 years left of working and that’s a short time and a long time. 30 years of life is short and will go by fast, especially if all the living I’m doing is on exhausted weekends. I really want a job that is fulfilling–one where I don’t dread waking up every day. But can I get a job that is fulfilling and also pay the bills? In a HCOL area? I really feel pessimistic about this. I also feel like I have to make a change soon. I can’t keep doing this.

The budget: $15k

  • Home: $9000 (mortgage, taxes, insurance, renovation/maintenance)
  • Health & Insurance (Life/Disability): $1200 (*health insurance through work not included)
  • Car: $800 (*includes saving for a new car every 10 years)
  • Food: $1500
  • Life: $2500 (kids activities/preschool – with only one kid in preschool at a time, shopping, travel, tech, gifts, etc)

$180,000 / year of spending

Saving Goals $11.6k

  • 401k/Roth – $8.5k
  • 529 – $1k
  • ESPP – $2.1k

$139.2k / year of saving (57.5k pre tax)

Total:

  • $261.7k post tax
  • $57.5k pre tax

Income needed – $493.5k

That makes sense… in that, as I’ve always said, in order to live a middle class lifestyle (this doesn’t include what I’d consider upper middle class lifestyle such as home cleaner, personal trainer, a larger shopping budget, etc) you need a $500k income here. Granted, this is a high savings rate, so if we were to cut back not the savings we could splurge a bit more… but the reason I’m focused on saving so much is that most years we probably won’t be able to! Right now any high earning year must be a high savings year too.

The reality is that we’re not going to be a $500k a year income family. My husband, if he keeps his job, is going to contribute $100k to that. I cannot see how I can find a job that pays $400k a year. It seems much more realistic to imagine both of us earning $250k, give or take, than for me to have a job that actually pays $400k every year for the next 30 years.

My reality is in my current career path I can likely earn $150k with bonus in some sort of stable way. Sure, this year I’m on track to make $750k+, if I keep my job, but that’s just because my stock grant is worth a lot. I’ll never earn that again. I have to live and plan based on an $150k income. So $250k total. I tried to put together a plan based on $250k income and I run out of places to cut.

$250k income… should spend ~ $12.5k / month

The budget: $12.5k

  • Home: $8000 (mortgage, taxes, insurance, minimum fixes)
  • Health & Insurance (Life/Disability): $1200 (*health insurance through work not included)
  • Car: $500 (*we buy cheapest cars possible)
  • Food: $1000 (not really realistic but some people do it)
  • Life: $1500 (all spending goes to kids activities, no travel, no shopping or hair cuts or anything)
  • $1.5k/mo left for saving — plus anything else pre-tax, so maybe max 2 401k and that’s it

Doable? I guess so. But again that’s assuming my husband keeps his $100k/yr job AND I manage to maintain $150k a year employment for the next 30 years. Maybe in 20 years $150k won’t seem like a large salary due to inflation, but then all of our costs — except mortgage — will have increased as well.

I just don’t know how to do it. And we’re “high earners.”

I’m trying to get us closer to that $12.5k budget now, which allows us to save more in our higher earning year and maybe will free us up for more flexibility later. But when is later?

I want to change careers entirely. I have some ideas. I’m scared to start over. I feel like I won’t be able to compete with 20-somethings. I have these ideas but then I’ve been on maternity leave for 2 months now and I haven’t taken a class or anything, which I could have done. My mind is scrambled eggs at the moment. But I don’t have the drive or focus or something to work for anything. Which is my problem. I admit it. Am I lazy? Perhaps. But also something is wrong with my mind. I can’t focus. It’s the bad anxiety. The ADHD. The ruminating on everything I say and do that’s so wrong. I feel lonely alone and anxious with others. I don’t know. It’s all too much.

My dream is to be able to live a life that doesn’t feel like I HAVE to make so much money to do the things I want to do. But I don’t even know what I want to do anymore. I don’t really need more “things.” I’d like to buy some new photography equipment and that’s expensive. I’d like to travel when travel is possible again, and pay for experiences with a family of four plus probably pay for my in-laws to come so that adds up really fast. I always think what is it that I’d ever want to buy and then my spending just adds up. And the I freeze, like I can’t even enjoy what I spend on because I feel guilty for spending anything. I should just be saving.

But at 38, I don’t even own a kitchen table. I melted my cheap-o food processor years ago (oops I left it on the oven that was on somehow) — and I need a new one. We don’t have matching sheets or much for furniture. We don’t have kitchen dishes (we’re still using my remaining target single plates I got when I graduated college.) We need a new garage door and should get a water filter for the kitchen sink. None of my clothes fit… because I just gave birth to a baby… which doesn’t  matter now but when I have to reenter the world shouldn’t I buy some new things so I feel acceptable? Clothes seem like such a waste though. I hate buying cheap stuff but then I hate buying expensive stuff. So why buy anything? My car has a lot of dings on it. And I need new brakes. That’s a safety issue. So it should be a priority. But I just spent a ton on a checkup. We should get a van anyway. Should I sell the car for parts? Should I get a van? I like the idea of getting a new electric mini van but I wish my husband would take on some more clients to help pay for it. He wants the fanciest model with the leather seats and while I’d like that too maybe we should buy something a little cheaper?

My biggest challenge is not really understanding what we can afford. Because I don’t know what I’ll earn in the future. I’m so fortunate to be earning a lot right now, but I’ve already been demoted in title and I can’t maintain this income at my current company. So I need to find a new job to just maintain. And I’m so tired of jumping from job to job and never feeling like it’s right. Never knowing what the hell I’m doing. Always feeling like I’m on the verge of getting fired.

So it’s safer to cut our spending down. $11.5k a month plus anything on top of that saved would be really good. The more we can save, the more cushion we have for the future. And $11.5k should be a comfortable monthly budget. But… after $8k on the house, that leaves us with $3.5k for everything else. I don’t know how to get everything in that. It seems like I should be able to but then things just add up. It’s a fun challenge, sort of, but I’m not any good at it.

Budget

Fixing My Budget On My Way to $2M

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I’ve realized that the more money I make, the less I want to spend. It isn’t that I have lost the urge to shop… it’s that the larger purchases that matter most in life come with the most financial risk–a house, for instance, may be purchased for a certain price–but it’s only “yours” if you can afford to make he payments for 30 years and continue paying taxes afterwards.

I’d really like to get my budget under $4000 a month, but this seems impossible. At the moment I’m spending about $6000 a month, so cutting it to $4000/month for the rest of the year would be a substantial accomplishment. Here’s how I’m going to do it:

Item BUDGET Current
Rent $1,270 $1,231
Financial $300 $219
Childcare $1,200 $1,200
Food $500 $719
Kid Stuff $150 $98
Phone $120 $115
Cable/Internet $60 $55
Gas/Electric $50 $52
Car $250 $273
Shopping $150 $1,068
Gifts $50 $111
Home $75 $72
Personal Care $75 $98
Health $50 $87
Entertainment $50 $60
Travel $200 $159

The above plan puts me at spending about $4550 a month! That’s still quite a lot and I don’t even think it is doable. I don’t see where else I can cut. The current amount in the average of my spending thus far this year. Obviously shopping is quite high, so I need to figure out how to seriously stop shopping so much! I’m going on a spending hiatus for September and trying to only return things and buying nothing new (other than what I’ve purchased already this month–a few books for my son, within budget.)

This is all so I can try to start saving more each month, to get to $1,500,000 in networth by the time I turn 38 (end of 2021.) If I stick to the above budget and keep my job, it’s possible.

$1.5M isn’t that significant… I need $4M to reach my “FI” goal (financial independence) — with $4M the rest of my life will feel ok as I’ll have the security needed to do what is right for my career and my family (well, ideally $4M plus a house, but I’m going to say $2M plus a house in this case, since we can always sell our house, and my husband’s networth will hopefully grow a bit over time too, to provide some more cushion.)

I just wonder if I can stick to the above plan. I don’t even know what I buy, but I spend a fortune on shopping! I’ve spent $4472 on Amazon year-to-date (yikes!)

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Also, I just realized I had some app subscriptions that were auto renewing that I didn’t know about! Cancelled those. Have no room in this budget for random “oops I just renewed for another year” in my apps.

Can I really go on a “no spend” September (and maybe rest of year!?!) Or at least a low-spend September ($150 shopping budget is pretty much nothing… especially since I’ll be purchasing a new iphone this month (I’m still using the 5 SE!) and need to account for the payment plan.)

I probably need some work done on my car… which means the $250 a month budget is going to be tough. Maybe I’ll hold off on the work for a month or two as long as it’s safe to drive.

Welp, I’ll report back Oct 1 re: how well I’ve tracked to my spending goals this month. I’d really like to get this under $4000/month, but that just doesn’t seem realistic.

 

Budget, Family, Parents

How to Help My Mother NOT go Broke

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They paid for college and a relatively lavish wedding and a lifestyle we apparently never could afford. They made a lot of bad money moves along the way–constantly adding on to and updating a house that was already the most expensive on the block, buying worthless art and “collectables” to clutter the house, taking money out of the markets around 2008 and missing out on the potential returns. Oh, and the kicker is that in 2015 and 2016 my father took a ton of money out of his IRA to buy a condo in florida and pay for my wedding without paying nearly enough in taxes to support those withdrawals, not to mention apparently not filing at all those two years, leaving my mother with $60k in tax debt and fines. For a man who made a career out of planning financial risk, he sure did a horrible job of planning for his and my mother’s retirement.

Dealing with his pretty traumatic death (a week after my NICU son was born last year) was hard enough–but not having to help my mother somehow NOT GO BROKE is going to, well, break me.

Now, I realize they paid for my college AND my wedding and I do feel a responsibility to 1. help her not go broke and 2. pay her back a reasonable amount for some of these expenditures. On one hand, had I known how bad the financial situation was, I might have made a different decision on where to go to college (public vs private school, which was an option) and I would have been less reckless with my spending at the time (when I didn’t understand budgeting or the value of money, sad to say.) But I did save on interest on student loans and I feel like I owe it to my mother to pay her back for at least some of my college education.

…The wedding was a beast of an event–but for my father dying of cancer it was as much his party as it was mine and for what it’s worth I saw him enjoy it perhaps more (much more) than I did with his family and friends. I had offered to pay for it up front so he wouldn’t have to withdraw from his IRA and he flat out refused, but I didn’t have a clue that ALL the money was in the IRA and the wedding plus their condo purchase just killed them tax wise those years. I can’t really blame myself for that as he told me “$50k for the wedding” and I went with that budget. He was too proud to admit that really he didn’t have the $50k for my wedding (and supposed $50k for my sister’s wedding that hasn’t happened yet) — maybe he thought he did. Maybe he was in denial. I don’t know. We shouldn’t have spent that money in 2016. I should have eloped.

I guess until tonight I hadn’t come to terms with just how bad the situation is. It doesn’t HAVE to be as there is a decent pension and social security, but my mother refuses to adjust her spending beyond perhaps not buying 4 matching pants to go with the 8 shirts on sale she just has to have. She’ll buy 2.

After interviewing a ton of CFPs (mostly fee only) I just felt like they weren’t going to add enough value to be worth their 1% annual management fees. It’s not that they wouldn’t tell her the right things she needed to hear, it’s that she would hear it and it would go in one ear and out the other. She’s just so far off from OK, I’m not sure WHERE to start. Scratch that, I know we should be selling her tri-state home IMMEDIATELY to start saving along the lines of $30,000+ a year — BUT, even that just scratches the surface of the issue. Even if I paid her back for the wedding and my entire college education, I’m not sure that gets her where she needs to be.

After all the CFP interviews I set up an appointment for her with Vanguard personal advisory services which is “just” .03% of her portfolio (really not that bad since her portfolio is just $400k in IRA at the moment, but also I get the sense that its’ about .03% of a real CFP service. What I like about it is that it’s .03% split out per month and you can get out at any time, so we can get some advice for cheap from a real CFP (or team of people who work with CFPs) and get some sense for what to do before investing in a private CFP. For free, they ran a basic plan for her… which was just depressing… and had me revisiting her spending and income and, well, the picture isn’t pretty. The picture has oozing wounds and horse shit that’s been festering for centuries covered in maggots.

And she’s doing BETTER than most people in America right now. She has $70k in fixed income (taxable, but still), $400k in the IRA and a home probably worth about $250k cash after it’s sold. But that’s nothing. She’s 65 and she’ll be broke by 70 at this rate.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to get her to take this seriously. She is in LALA land. I don’t want to give her $25k or $50k or more UNLESS she can actually learn to budget properly and makes plans to help smooth this all out, somehow. Instead of saying that she CAN’T sell the house next year, she realizes that she HAS to sell it next year (sadly) and really she should sell it THIS YEAR. She CAN’T get a storage unit to keep all her random things and she HAS to sell what she can and move to her condo full time as soon as possible – even if that means not going to her condo this winter and staying in the cold weather to pack (but, as she says, she would have to buy a whole new winter wardrobe, which would cost a lot, so she should not stay there to pack up the house this winter.)

My thought on helping her out financially is that I need to get my ducks in order first (i.e. buy a house, pay off said house, have a stable career for next 10 years, invest my money) and if in 10 years she has been spending smartly then I can help pay for things like buy her a vacation package or even pay the basic bills if needed, up to a certain point, especially to ensure she’s comfortable in old age when she needs to have help.

It just all feels so unsurmountable I’m erring on the side of just being delusional like my mother and letting her run out of money at 70, go into credit card debt, and then… then what? She has an HOA to pay (her condo was “cheap” but it’s not cheap on a fixed income, and who the hell knows what special assessments will come up over time?)

Any advice on what I should do, other than send my mother a check for $50k and run the hell away from this?

 

Budget

First Quarter 2018: Spend Report

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Ok, so the year has gotten off to a bit of a rough start on the spending front.

The good news is that my income for the first 3 months of the year (including post-tax paychecks and pre-tax 401k contributions) has been $34,495. So, my $13,675 of spending for 1/4 of the year doesn’t seem that bad when I’ve saved $20.8k thus far.

*Also, theoretically, if I receive my stock at the end of the year, I could have an extra ~ $4000 of savings per month which is significant (and makes my bad spending choices look slightly less bad?)

Continue reading First Quarter 2018: Spend Report →

Budget

December Budget: “Half Month” Check In

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Since we (I) managed to spend way too much this year, I’m starting a better way of holding myself accountable to sane fiscal living by posting a budget update twice a month. I know I need to get a handle on my spending, especially with baby on the way — and the hope to own a home one day. Here’s how December is looking thus far:

This only includes my spending for the month Continue reading December Budget: “Half Month” Check In →

Budget

2018 Budget Planning

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It’s time to plan for a baby. And 2018. I’m aiming to put together a realistic budget, and determine how – with baby I can accomplish my goal of $650k networth by the end of the year (*personal networth) en route to my major next goal of $1M by 40, or sooner. I’m bumping that up to 38 because after that I’d like to save for the down payment of a house. This gives me 4 years to hit this goal. Continue reading 2018 Budget Planning →

Budget, Networth

November Networth and Budget Recap ($541,989)

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November was a reasonably successful month for networth growth. According to NetworthIQ, my networth is now $541,989. This is a 2.98% (or $15.6k) monthly increase from the end of October.

End of Month Spend Report

Income: $7826
Spend: $3907
Remainder: $3919

Spend Breakdown

  • Rent: $1350
  • Auto: $284
  • Bills: $170
  • Entertainment: $48
  • Food & Dining: $707
  • Health: $114
  • Infertility: $563
  • Shopping: $1821*
  • Travel: $190
  • Other: $10

Went a little (ok a lot) crazy with shopping this month… mostly due to the Sephora Rouge sale. Don’t judge. I’m planning to return a chunk of items I bought that I don’t need, so that will hit December’s spend. Had I not gone psycho on shopping, this month would have actually not been that bad.

Despite spending way too much at Sephora (*this includes all of my hair products for the year, which I acquire for 20% off. And, other things I don’t need.)

My budget goal was $4400 in spend and I actually only spent $3907 so while that’s close, I’m $500 under my target spend. Not bad. I can do better, but not bad.

And all this spend was BEFORE I knew I was pregnant… so I’m definitely going to focus on cutting down the shopping habit going forward. The good thing about living in a 1 bedroom apartment is that it’s hard to go too crazy buying things for the soon-to-be newborn. And, I now have a very real “why to save” goal ahead of me… coming in 8 months! OH MY GOD. My objective is to save as much as possible before baby comes. That, and kick ass at my job so my boss allows me to work remotely and keep earning income when I return from a very brief maternity leave. (AH.)

December Spend Target: $2950 spent / $4876 saved

  • Rent/Home: $1350
  • Auto: $300
  • Bills: $200
  • Entertainment: $100
  • Food & Dining: $700
  • Health: $100
  • Infertility: $0
  • Shopping: $100
  • Travel: $0
  • Other: $100

 

Budget, Networth

October Networth & Spend Report: $519k

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Despite not having a job for four solid months this year (and spending $20k on travel during that time), with the stock market’s latest performance my net worth is still up significantly. I realize what goes up must come down, but for now I’m enjoying seeing a higher net worth than I expected given how the job situation has gone down this year, and my not-so-frugal global travels.

It’s a little upsetting that if I hadn’t taken the trips and if I was able to obtain a job sooner, my net worth would be much higher — but my goal was always to close 2017 with $500k in net worth, and I’m really happy that I likely will accomplish that, barring any crazy stock market crash.

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I do owe my husband a lot of money (we keep our accounts separate) but he’s a good lender with really great rates (no interest, just hugs.) 🙂

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October spending definitely was high, given all the traveling. But I’m hoping for Nov and December expenses will be significantly reduced. I am taking one weekend trip but otherwise it should be a relatively cheap month. Here’s how October played out:

*note – believe it or not, this is my portion of monthly spend only. My husband has a separate budget, including his portion of the rent.

  • TOTAL SPEND: $7640
  • Home – $1400 (rent)
  • Auto & Transport – $621 (car detailing, new battery, gas)
  • Bills & Utilities – $331 (accidentally had international call for $75)
  • Entertainment – $154 (concert, netflix, etc)
  • Food & Dining – $583 (only half of month when not traveling)
  • Health & Fitness – $930 (infertility treatment, glasses)
  • Shopping – $1280 (new clothes for job, prob returning some)
  • Travel – $2234 (last part of honeymoon)
  • Other – $107

Obviously, I can’t spend $7640 each month!

Spend Goals for November:

  • TOTAL SPEND: $4400
  • Home – $1400 (rent)
  • Auto & Transport – $300 (gas)
  • Bills & Utilities – $200
  • Entertainment – $200
  • Food & Dining – $800
  • Health & Fitness – $1000 (infertility treatment costs)
  • Shopping – $200
  • Travel – $200
  • Other – $100
  • (Not included – investments ~$3000)