My site has been down for a while. It apparently took a quick chat with my hosting provider to fix it, but my anxiety kept me from trying that until now. I finally decided I missed writing here enough to attempt getting this fixed. I didn’t realize it would be quite so easy.
I have no idea if anyone will still find this blog. Maybe some of you have my updates in your feeds and will see this pop up. If so — hi!
I don’t have time to write my entire life update tonight, but here’s a quick summary…
- I’m now 40(!) years old (can you believe I started this blog when I was 22???)
- I have three(!) kids. My oldest is about to turn 6, and my youngest is about to turn 2 months old.
- Over the past 2 years I’ve lost two jobs and left one after 10 months. I was let go from my last role earlier this year while pregnant and haven’t found a position yet. Things aren’t quite dire (thank goodness for having a big cushion) but I’m pretty down about job prospects, my abilities, and what the hell I should do with the rest of my life before I retire.
- Life is fucking expensive. Someone kick me for moving to the most expensive place to live in the country 20 years ago and not leaving.
- It isn’t all a shit show… the house I bought in 2020 (for more than we could really afford) is worth about $600k more today. We could sell our house and walk with $900k+ in cash, which would set us up for a pretty good life most anywhere else.
- Our total net worth right now is hovering around $3.3M (I stopped tracking separate because that’s a pain to figure out, but a lot of that is from my income and investments). We still owe $1.2M-ish on the house (ouch) with a $7k a month mortgage (double ouch), but things aren’t dire… yet.
- Did I mention our net worth is $3.3M? This isn’t a humble brag… this is still me waking up every day thinking how da fuc did we get here (from $28k in 2007 plus the few thousand my husband had saved then).
- Most of that is tied up in investments, the aforementioned home equity, et al, so the no job thing is still a mega issue.
- We are bleeding cash right now. Our outflow is about $13k-$20k a month, depending on how sad I am and how much I am buying on Amazon on any given day. Or how much our house is breaking. Aiming to keep spending down but with a $7k mortgage an 3 kids there is only so much we can do…
- I’m looking for a job. Contemplating a major career pivot but everything feels terrifying. I don’t trust myself to invest in myself even now. I’ve managed to bounce from one thing to the next where I let other people tell me what they think I’m good at… but I’ve never actually figured out what I’m… actually… good at. And my career history is a sad smorgasbord of fuck ups with the occasional project that cemented my next role or next next role as people forgot I’m not actually qualified for much.
- I want to be qualified for… something. So I’m on maternity leave, luckily getting some pay through state disability, and thinking hard on what’s next. I’m also working with a psychiatrist to try to fix this brain of mine once and for all, but limited w/ what meds I can take because I’m nursing so it’s rough. I need to survive the next 22 months and then I’ll be done nursing and can take whatever. Drug me up.
Anyway, I’m back. Hello. If you see this feel free to drop a comment. Would love to know if anyone is still out there. Let me know if you have any questions on the above!
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Congrats on baby number 3! I had hoped you were living your best life during your hiatus, glad to get this quick update. Lots of changes but such is life eh! Glad to hear you continue to tackle the challenges that come your way.
Welcome back! Great to hear your life updates!
š Thanks!
I missed reading your writing! Long time reader. Was hoping everything was alright, and started to think you shut the blog down for good. Glad to see you’re back! Congrats on baby #3 and the massive net worth figure/milestone!
Thanks! The WordPress update broke everything and apparently all I needed to do was contact my host’s customer support. š It’s nice to see some folks find me again even tho all I do is complain about how miserable I am here. Heh.
I’ve been one of your readers from the very beginning and was so excited to see some updates! Three kids is so cute – I know it was a big dream of yours to be a mama. Here for you and your journey.
Hi Clare. Thanks for reading. š And yes being a mom is great! My kids are a lot but I love them to bits. Best part of life for sure.
Welcome back Joy!
So happy to hear that you now have a third child and the family seems to be doing well!
Just thought I’d say hi, the net worth has still been growing nicely š which is pretty impressive.
My family is also experiencing many similar kids/job challenges that you are facing. Kids are so wonderful, and quite hard. It takes a lot, but it’s so worth it. Having a job while having kids, running the household, etc. is a huge mental load. We also have anxiety. Great to see your posts again, and thanks for sharing your experiences. Wish you the best and enjoy your growing family and special moments with your kids!
Hi! Yes, I’m grateful our networth is where it is. If I didn’t have this massive cushion I’d be in a much much worse place right now. I’m still scared shitless, but I have some time to sort things out. I don’t know how to be the mom I want to be and work full time, even if I can find a full time job I’m half decent at. I’m struggling to be a mom to 3 kids without a job at all right now. But at least I have the family I want. Everything else just needs to be sorted out now.
Welcome back! And congrats on the baby. Is number 3 a girl or a boy?
You’ve mentioned mental health, and I’ve been reading 2 great books: “The Body Keeps the Score”, and “Dodging Energy Vampires.” Have you considered that your mental health issues may stem from childhood trauma or other formative experiences? The books explain the entire concept as well as treatment plans.
It’s a girl (after two boys) and I’m super happy to have my family complete now.
I’ll check out those books, thanks. I know a lot of my mental health issues stem from childhood trauma and some is just who I am. I’m still not sure how to fix these issues — a lifetime of therapy seems to only have done so much.
Welcome back & congratulations on the family. Long time reader here, was hoping all was ok with you & like one commenter said above, you were living your best life.