I Should Update My Blog: What Day Is It Again?

August 14. Also known, in my head, as 170 days before I can leave my current job and move onto the next one without making a major financial mistake. Or 24 weeks, give or take. That’s achievable. I think. I’m doing work, albeit overwhelmed by the work I’m doing. Nothing I’m doing is revolutionary or will get me a good performance review or pay raise this year, but that doesn’t matter since I’m leaving.

But where to? I’m just tired of being in the same situation again and again. Beyond exhausted. I have no experience. Have been working for over 15 years and yet no relevant experience to apply to other roles. I feel really sick about it. I know that I can take classes and such but that’s not really going to get me prepared for an actual position that requires 5+ years of specific experience. So while it’s nice to think I’m finally getting to the time when I can leave, it’s very not so nice to think about having nowhere to go.

Net worth wise I guess things are going ok. The stock market and particular stocks I’m invested in came down, so family-wise we’re hovering around 2.1M when I was hoping to be closer to 3M this year. It’s still possible we’ll get to 2.5M, for what that’s worth. I’d like to be at 2.5M before leaving this job. If stocks rebound it’s possible. Or I can be under 2M again. Oh well.

Just went on a family trip and spent too much money on hotels that were average or less than average and eating out too much. Now I’m focusing on eating healthy food and trying not to waste anything. Basic stuff, but things I’m bad at so if I can actually use all the food I buy that will be a major win (and good for the environment too.) I’m not that hungry today though…

I’m not sure when I should start applying for the new role. I was thinking I would go all in starting December. Bonus payout and 401k match happen the end of January, and if I start applying in December that means that it’s unlikely I’ll get a job offer and start my new role before Feb 1. I’m working on a few projects through April but by Feb 1 things should be in a decent place so I can leave. It’s not the best time to leave but also they clearly don’t want me to stay so why should I care about what is best for the company right now?

I’m trying to figure out how little I can make and still be able to afford life. Since I’ve earned at least $165k since 2016, it would be hard to earn less than that now (esp since lately I’ve been earning $300k+ with bonus and stock.) But I’m looking at the next few years as a transition period. Can I find a job that pays $150k that is lower level where I can get some experience and have a boss who can help me get relevant experience in a specific field, so I can move up appropriately? If I make $150k and have good benefits then I think that would be acceptable. I just don’t want to be underpaid for my work and experience level either. I don’t know. One company may see $150k as a lot of money and another may see it as the compensation for a relatively junior position. I do think $120k is probably more standard for the roles w/ 2-3 years of experience, which maybe is what I should be aiming for… though I don’t even really have relevant experience for those roles. And most won’t even interview me because they’ll think I want more money (I do) or that I won’t stay long if I can get a position that pays more (maybe true.)

So the big question is do I focus on getting a job that pays $150k (which is already $25k lower than my current base not even including bonus and stock) OR do I use my current experience to try to get a leadership role with comp closer to $250k. Will the $150k role actually be a better fit than the $250k role? Will the company see me as a junior/mid-level employee with potential vs a senior employee who sucks at leading? Maybe one day I can work up to leading but I don’t want to go there now. I think. I can’t focus on being a good mom and household manager and a leader right now. I’m bad enough at leadership as it is. So. $150k seems to be the number. I’d love to make $150k at a large company with good benefits and some kind of stock grant to make up for the difference a little bit. I don’t know if I can go under the $150k though, which limits my options a bit. I wonder if I should just delete half of my LinkedIn so people don’t know how old I am and make it look like I’m younger. People say I look young. But then can I really remove the year I graduated on my resume?

Eh.

I’m doing what I wanted to do. Surviving. But then what?

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