How the Hell am I Going to Pay for College?

The cost of college is, uh, fucking ridiculous.

My parents put my sister and I through college on $0 scholarships and while they prob should have made us take out loans, it was doable.

I make good money these days and I am still looking at future college costs thinking… how da fuck am I going to put 2-3 kids through college?

Now, I’m definitely in the camp that 2 years community college + 2 years public college is the way to go from a financial perspective. However, my parents never told me I couldn’t go to my dream school for an arts program, and I really want to be able to give that same gift to my children.

That’ll be $500k per child, thankyouverymuch.

Who in g-d’s earth can afford THAT?

Looking for advice? Here are 8 Tips How to Afford College

I even started investing in a 529 10 years BEFORE I had a child. This doesn’t seem to help much.

Current 529 Investments

Child 1 (16 years until college): $37,312
Child 2 (18 years until college): $30,000
Child 3 (20 years until college 🙂 ): $11,065

If I invest nothing more in these accounts, at 5% growth, they will be worth…

Child 1: $81,447.42
Child 2: $72,198.58
Child 3: $29,358.74

Let’s say I add $10,000 a year to each account. Does that help?

Child 1: $329,851.08
Child 2: $367,588.62
Child 3: $376,551.26


That’s… better. But that means putting in $30,000 a YEAR into the 529 for the next 16-20 years. That’s $2500 a MONTH.

And that still doesn’t pay for 4 years at a private school!!!

Cost of Average Private School for Each Kid

Child 1: $469k
Child 2: $520k
Child 3: $570k

Say what now?

Yes, the cost of sending 3 kids to an average private college will be $1.5M. I went to college, so I know that means $1,500,000.

Who is supposed to be able to afford this? I do not understand. This does not compute.

Public School Looks a LITTLE Better

Child 1: $206k
Child 2: $227k
Child 3: $251k

That’s only $684k. Suddenly spending over a half mil on sending 3 kids to college seems cheap. Is it cheap? Can I convince my children–including one-in-the-womb and one-yet-to-be-conceived–that state school is the way to go? Luckily California has great public school options. But that still requires getting into them. And what if my kid has their heart set on my alma mater, or any other private school with specialized programs? Then what?

I don’t want my kids to graduate with debt. But I also know my family won’t be eligible for financial aid because we will have too much saved.

Maybe by the time my kids go to college, it will be free. Isn’t that a fun thought? It’s unlikely, though. So I guess I must focus on saving $2500 a month for the next 20 years so my kids can maybe afford college?

I did want to buy a house, but maybe we should buy a college education(s) instead.

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