DUI Depression 10 Years Later

The day I got my DUI seems like a million years ago. In fact, it was about 9 years and a month ago. While I don’t remember much of my 20s, I do remember that night all too clearly. All the bad decisions I made. The reckoning of my entire self identify as a “good girl” all lost in one evening of drinking too much wine at a networking event and, in the days before uber, driving home after waiting what I thought was long enough to sober up — when it clearly wasn’t.

What followed my DUI was deserved, but that doesn’t negate how horrible it was. A night at the jail handcuffed to a chair. Six weekends of “community service,” the classes, the  $10k+ in costs… or more, I stopped counting. Years later, I just want to forget about it. I made a commitment to myself that night that if I was ever to drink again, I would take public transport or uber to get home. And since then I haven’t received a DUI, nor have I had any reason to get one — because I don’t drive after drinking. Ever.

This doesn’t stop my past from haunting me. In applying for home insurance, it has come up that purchasing car insurance alongside it as a bundle could save on our total rate. Well–guess what? These companies immediately ask me if I had a DUI in the last 10 years. Sadly, my conviction was in November 2011, which is still under 10 years ago. Many companies said they won’t insure me at all. One said they might be able to get an override, but I wouldn’t qualify for a good driver discount.

Luckily I have car insurance now and it’s a fair rate so it’s not the end of the world, but it really feels like a sharp gutting of my heart in being reminded of the horrible mistake in my past. I don’t want to forget about it, but I also don’t want to be reminded of it anymore. I was 25 then. I’m 36 now. I’m just in a different place in my life.

The only good news is that this reminded me that in one year I won’t have the DUI on my motor vehicles report anymore. It will still show up when employers search my records — and will still make it hard to get into Canada — but at least, soon, I can kind of move on. I though I had moved on. But clearly I haven’t. So I’m a bit depressed this evening. Embarrassed of my former self. Acknowledging I am the same hot mess I was then, only a little better when it comes to decision making.

This comes on top of an incredible amount of stress (probably too much) in trying to figure out home insurance. I don’t get what we are supposed to be covered for and I don’t know how much we should be covered for. The replacement costs all the agencies are providing seem way too low given I’m told in the Bay Area it costs $500-$600+ per square foot to build. I thought the home insurance part of home buying would be straight forward (bank wants you to be covered for the cost of the loan, you get covered for the cost of the loan, and you’re good.)

I’m stressed out because I’m in the middle of this closing process and we’re still awaiting the appraisal and we’re still waiting to find out if we can get the property insured (or maybe we already have a policy we haven’t paid for — I’m confused) — and one company that was high rated said they may not insure us because there are galvanized pipes and every company is asking me how old the roof is and I don’t have any idea as the seller’s report does not say and our landlord doesn’t know. And this insurance agent I spoke with kind of freaked me out about the galvanized pipe issue. So there’s another thing we’ll have to fix when we move in, possibly. So many things.

I just want to be happy right now. I want to feel like this is an accomplishment and I want this opportunity to feel good just for a few minutes, you know? But at the moment I feel like absolute shit. Scared. Ashamed of my past. And just trying to get through this process to buy the house and figure out what really needs to be fixed and how much it will cost to make it safe and reduce risk as much as possible.

New pipes, huh?

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8 thoughts on “DUI Depression 10 Years Later”

  1. My Peninsula house is insured at $350/sqft, plus there is a “Dwelling Replacement Cost” rider that shells out another 30% if necessary for full replacement.

  2. I would recommend to budget some funds for repairs. That way it is not as disappointment and more expected and prepared for. You may not need those funds. You can keep those funds invested. It will put your mind at ease knowing that you have a $30K or $40K budgeted towards repairs (not improvements). Issues and repairs are pretty typical. In my area, typically seller pays to fix any and all issues on the inspection with a purchased home.. but the market here isn’t as hot as where you are. You have plenty of funds to cover any repairs, enjoy your new home! 🙂

    1. I have $50k set aside for repairs and anything else right now. I am hoping that is not all used up by electric and HVAC but it might be. I think the rest is going to go to plumbing!

  3. A shingle roof lasts 25 yrs n tile roof lasts 50 yrs. If its original roof then it’s year of bldg construction.

    The biggest premium besides bldg replacement on the policy is earthquake coverage required by bank as bay area on a fault line. It’s covering for when the next 1989 hits.

    Galvanized pipes corrode overtime n the zinc coating erodes. Lead may build up at corrosion which is lethal. Copper pipes r preferred.

    The main things to inspect for are
    – roof
    – plumbing
    – heating
    – electrical

    Even if u don’t have any knowledge, basic things an owner can ask are last yr of replacement. Then hire the home inspector to provide u a report on remaining lifetime of the following so u can plan when to replace them 🙂

    Anything not replaced since 1985 is likely not to code anymore.

    A little free insurance education

    1. Thanks! The owner seems to not want to tell us things like the age of the roof. My agent will ask. We are still in close so I think they don’t want to tell us this information? The roof inspection didn’t talk about age of roof, it just included the following information and said that it costs about $1000 to fix (we are paying for fixes but owners are doing them before they move out supposedly.)

      1. The pipe flashing needs to be re-sealed at the collar.
      2. There are some exposed nail heads that need to be sealed with caulking.
      3. The step flashing at the skylight is not properly installed. New step flashing need to be installed and integrated into the existing roof.
      4. There is some debris on the roof and around the flashings that needs to be cleaned off.
      5. There are some flashings that need to be secured to the roof deck using screws.
      6. Some of the shingles need to be trimmed back at the flashing base to allow the water to flow properly around the flashing.

      1. Unknown replacement means no replacement. You will have to assume original bldg construction year .

        A brand new roof starts at $15k for a regular single family home so most ppl will sell the house to a new owner by the time that happens n reap the capital gains from home appreciation to downsize to a newer smaller home by then.

        Kind of like institutional investors dumping stocks to retailers on ipo

        1. Your appraisal will provide you a land vs bldg value split of the property assessment. This will show u how much the structure has depreciated if u compare to a similar size brand new home in the same neighborhood.

          Local state or county residential property assessment sites may also offer that breakdown estimate.

          Say you paid $1.7M for the property n it’s actually priced close to assessment value n assuming no renos to an original bldg , I’d estimate the following appraisal split
          $1.6M land
          $100k structure
          That’s for your ownership info only

          The important thing is to fix the urgent stuff n like others say set aside a few tens of thousands for future renos.

          I’d say roof n plumbing r the urgent ones.
          Water damage is the most frequent insurance claim.
          Leaks, drips, seepage are very common occurrences in homes.

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