Happiness.

Today, I went for a long-ish walk with my son. It took forever to get out of the apartment but we finally headed out around 10:30 and I walked to coffee, then a local dog park, then a children’s clothing store, and got back home around 1pm.

As I was walking home, despite having a headache due to my new diet, I was amazed by how happy I felt. I mean, happy as in, content. As in — half way between my two weeks off from work (office shutdown over the holidays), I actually feel relaxed and able to enjoy life. Fuck, it feels good.

It got me thinking–I really am tired of this Bay Area life (more on that in my next post re: housing costs and current status on that adventure.) But what the hell is the point? I do LOVE the Bay Area in terms of its climate, closeness to so many awesome places, various downtowns and things to do, etc etc, but at the end of the day, I just want to be able to have time to go for a long walk with my son when the sun is still out, or to spend time with him indoors if it’s too cold to do that.  Or a drive somewhere. Just have, you know, time.

Time to spend with my family. Time to exercise. Time to eat healthy. Time to BE healthy. Time to make new friends and nurture existing ones.

I’ll certainly miss our friends here but the reality is we see our friends so infrequently we could live on the moon and pay for a roundtrip back and forth to see our friends as much as we see them now and it would still be cheaper. Ok, not the moon, but like, Indiana. Or Pennsylvania. Or Guam.

Committing to a mortgage here, even if we move far as fuck away from my office to find something “affordable” (ie $5k a month) and turn me into a lifelong supercomputer so I can afford to pay that mortgage for 30 years, I’ve come to the conclusion that won’t make me happy at all. I want to sit in a house with a fire and a backyard and just be with my family. I haven’t really had time to spend with them. I’m exhausted when I get home from work, and just want to sleep on the weekends too.

I still want to make it two more years here, getting as much of my stock as possible. It won’t hurt to have more money in the bank if we do move elsewhere. I just don’t know how to convince my husband that we should do this (or heck, to convince myself we should do this.) There has to be a better way to live life.

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2 thoughts on “Happiness.”

  1. Hi Joy. This is so much bliss to read. Family always comes first and it is also important to love yourself so you could love what surrounds you. What would you recommend for a family who’s wanting to have bonding moments at home? Any home activities? Thanks!

  2. Hello Joy, I’m so sorry that you’re going through a lot, but all will be fine you just need to push yourself and support your family and will be okay, but I wanted to ask, why you want to go out? Don’t you think that matters the most is family and sometimes sacrifices may lead up to a happy life? Thanks!

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