What they don’t tell you in sex ed about getting pregnant…

Based on my sexual education classes in school, my understanding was that should I so much as stand too close to a man’s nether bits I could get pregnant. The class was clearly designed to ensure we don’t get pregnant, not that we do.  At about the same time I was diagnosed with PCOS due to not ever getting my period and told to take birth control and “just get pregnant before you are 30.” I was 15 at the time.

Now that I actually want to reproduce I’ve learned quite a bit more about how the birds and the bees actually work. To start, you really can’t get pregnant most of the time. That was a major shocker to me since in school they taught us that you could get pregnant always. Which, granted, is true if you have a crazy ovulation problem and your body is doing things that aren’t normal. And, you can definitely get pregnant for a few days leading up to when you ovulate and there is no guaranteed test that shows you have or haven’t ovulated — so you might mess up one month and poof you’re preggo. Leggo my preggo.

Ok, so all that aside, when you are actually TRYING to get pregnant, there are at most 5 days a month when you can, with 2 of them being the best days. These are the days before and when you ovulate. That means if you happen to not be in the mood – or in the area – for the required act to procreate – you have to wait a whole other month to try again. So you really have 10-12 chances a year if you’re ovulating regularly to get pregnant. Not around for 5 of those due to work travel? Well, good luck getting pregnant the other 5-7.

I want to be pregnant by the time I’m 34, which leaves me 13 months to get pregnant. Who knows if I ovulate regularly, but assuming I do and assuming my cycle holds up for the next 15 months in 35 day cycles, I have 12 chances to get pregnant.  Of course, not only do I have to GET pregnant, I also have to not miscarry – and having PCOS drastically increases risk of miscarriage. All of this means I’m likely going to need medical intervention at some point in the future, but I want to try the good old fashioned way for a while to see if I might be able to trick my body into doing what it was born to do. (I mean, getting pregnant should occur more naturally than selling enterprise software, shouldn’t it?)

At my last regular check up, my doctor gave me a referral to the medical group’s fertility clinic. They didn’t have a consultation available until January, but one opened up in November so I booked it. I also read online that this specific infertility clinic is horrible – or at least their office staff has a lot of one-star reviews. I’m not interested in spending $10k-$40k on IVF treatments at a place that sucks at managing they practice.

I went to get two blood tests done yesterday that are supposed to tell me the quality of my eggs and my egg reserve. I have no idea how much they will cost. I guess I’ll find out soon.

A family friend apparently had her IVF paid for by insurance – but she lives in a state where it’s covered. In California, none of the infertility treatments will be covered by insurance so the bills will add up fast. I can afford it, but if I don’t need it, it is a huge waste. The consultation, they told me, is $800. Just a consultation. The rest we haven’t talked about yet but according to the internets it can easily cost $50k – and you may end up back where you started. There are no guarantees. Infertility is big business. I’ve read that infertility clinics sometimes pay for the entire cost to run a hospital.

In any case, I’ll certainly be documenting my story on here and the costs that go with trying to get pregnant. I guess you can make the case that kids cost $250 per before college so what is $30k to have one? Still, I really want to have two kids naturally. That’s my goal. I’d like 2-3 children — but now I’m starting with one. At least, I hope I am.


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