In terms of productivity, I’ve been making significant progress in finding a job that I’m better suited for. One specific interview went very well and I’m hopeful. Not only do I think the role would be perfect for my career trajectory, but I also feel confident I can do the position justice. It’s everything that my last gig wasn’t. I’m sure it won’t be perfect (what is) but it would finally put me in the field I actually want to be in versus just taking the next thing that comes along. It would be the first gig I am excited about in a long time.
I just don’t want to get my hopes up. It’s hard because when an interview goes well you feel like you have a good chance of getting the job offer and then, who knows, maybe someone else was a better fit, or maybe the interviewer’s smiles and nods and rays of positivity were just camo for mental eye rolls. One can never be so sure. I just am feeling this. It feels right. It is the stars aligning although they may in fact be crashing in opposite directions. I’ve got my fingers crossed so tightly I my circulation is cut off. I hate wanting things so bad. I’ve given up on wanting much of anything these days… I mean, I’ve been fortunate enough to score gigs that pay well and all, but nothing where I would be thrilled to go to work each day.
If this doesn’t work out, then I’m seriously considering grad school right now. It will take another year before I can even go, which kind of sucks, but it might be the only way to have a shot at the jobs I actually want if this doesn’t pull through. Still, I am willing this to happen. I hope it does. I really, really hope it does.