Success. While the hourly dollar figure I quoted was considered way too high, I did get them to go $5 over the top of their hourly range. And, while the officially paperwork isn’t in my inbox yet, it sounds like the job is mine. And I’m beyond ecstatic. Ok, I’m nervous as all hell, because I need to prove myself to the company in a role that isn’t easily defined and where success isn’t an obviously calculated metric. I will do whatever I can to be successful, but in the end, there’s a lot to the success of my job that is out of my control.
For the first time in my life, I’ll be making a real solid annual salary (albeit one paid hourly and that could be terminated at any time, with a contract end date looming from the start.) I’ll be making the type of money where I could see being able to raise a family on, even though as expensive as this area is I’d still have to rent and live on the cheap. Beyond the hourly pay, the opportunity is great for my resume and future employment or graduate school prospects.
So maybe getting laid off wasn’t that bad after all. I was in a start-up going nowhere fast. I didn’t want to jump ship, though I had a few recruiters try to snatch me with alluring emails of positions with more stable companies. But it was at the point in the company where my role was no longer needed for the direction the business was headed, and I was let go. It was all very civil and as positive as a lay off could be. Still, I was unemployed, and my freelance income did not match my annual salary — more due to the limited number of hours I could pick up than my actual hourly rate, which was about what I’ll be making now, except now I have a guaranteed 40 hours per week and the self-employment tax paid for by the employer.
On one hand, this all feels surreal. Just last week I felt so hopeless and now I’m almost on top of the world, but also stressed, because there is a lot to prove every day in this role, and a lot of it I will have to define myself. While at my last company I showed up in jeans and a t-shirt, here I will have to dress a bit nicer. I’m sure jeans and a nice shirt are ok but I really want to dress to impress every single day. I’m usually too lazy to blow dry my hair and it’s just a wavy poofball in a ponytail but I think with the increase in income I’m going to get a nicer hair cut and spend the time blowing it out every morning. I’m going to make sure I look professional. And while I let my tongue slip at my previous employer, being too honest with my opinions, this time around I’m going to be very careful with how I communicate. Because so much of how you’re viewed is not so much what you say or your ideas, but how you say them, and how you make other people feel (esp your superiors.)
In any case, this is huge for me and I’m ready for it. I’m excited about the increase in income to add to my savings and bump up my networth this year, but I’m even more so excited that I did this. I got this really awesome job because I happen to be very qualified for this specific position. It feels great to know that I’ve earned this. Now I just have to keep earning it, and prove I’m worthy of being hired full time when my contract expires in the fall.
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