For whatever reason, my biological clock started ticking loudly. I’m now 26 and I’m not getting any younger. While part of me wonders if I’ll ever be mature enough to have children, I’d like 3 of them, and a house and stability and all of those adult things. I feel terribly young — way too young to have a husband or kids — and yet I know so many people who are my age or younger who are already packing in a full house. (This article argues that you should get married in your early 20s.)
I started Google searching things like “when is the right age to have a baby?” and “how old should i be when I get married.” More often then not, I find people recommending marriage in the 20s, and popping out kids by 35 (and later and there’s a higher chance for defects).
My boyfriend and I have been together over 3 years. We both know we’re going to get married — one day — but he’s convinced that he needs to finish grad school (well he needs to start it first) and obtain a career in order to get married. If he starts grad school next fall, I’ll be 29 before he’s finished with his MA. Then there’s the PhD he may want to obtain… I’m not getting married until I’m 35 at the rate things are going.
I’m not marriage obsessed, I just wonder now that I’m 26 why I’m not getting married. I guess the way I see it is either my boyfriend and I will get married OR we won’t and I’m wasting my time with him now when I could be out dating while I still look somewhat attractive. What if I get to 30 and he decides he isn’t ready, or worse, wants to break up?
Given my health, having children is going to be extremely difficult and expensive anyway, and I don’t want to put it off too long. At the moment I’m somewhat stable in my career — somewhat as in I’ll probably need to switch jobs this year — but I’ve learned how to save and I’m starting to feel financially mature. I honestly could give two shits about being married, it’s having children that is what’s on my mind right now. I don’t want kids now, but I do want them fairly soon, in the next 5 years. Maybe I should break up with my boyfriend and date a guy in his late 30s to make sure this will happen.