For the first time in my life, I like my job a lot. It pays well, I work with really smart people who I admire, and I’ve managed to secure a full time gig… which means they like me, or at least the work I do, at least in the sense that I’m not that easily replaceable. All that is good, great, even, yet I’m still not doing exactly what I want to do.
I really want to do a good job for a long enough amount of time to prove I can stick it out. It’s just hard because I get a bit frustrated when I have no right to be frustrated. Basically, what I want to do isn’t in my job description. It is apparently in everyone else’s. I’m also a tad bit annoying in that I haven’t mastered the art of speaking yet… I talk too much, I think everyone dislikes me for it, and sometimes I don’t talk enough, and then I feel like I just disappear. Why can’t I fit on some middle ground so I can be respected AND taken seriously?
All I want to do is design. Do user interaction design, specifically. But I’m completely confused over how I can make the career switch, or if I even should. Grad school seems to be the only possibility, but even that is a far off dream. First of all, I’d have to GET IN to grad school… there are only a few top programs for this new field and each of them are hard to get into. Looking at the people they seem to accept, they want people with experience in the field. While my experience is related, it’s definitely not in the field. It’s gazing on the field with envy, if anything. Does that count?
My passion is great user experience. I tried to be a writer but I’m not really that great of a writer. I tried marketing but I’m not the best at marketing a product that has all these details that I’d like to tweak. I can fake it. I can fake it all. But in the long run, I don’t want to fake it. I want to cease this frustration and have a job where I can actually make a difference in the development of a product as far as the ultimate user experience goes. I’m still thinking an MBA might be a better route to go – get more involved in product strategy, stay out of the details, but then I end up futzing around with wireframes all night dreaming of a day when I could design interfaces for a living. Will that day ever come? And how much debt will I have to take on to see it?