Some days are better than others, but I’m feeling a lot more positive about this transition today now that I have been able to take a step back and breathe a bit. It’s certainly not the end of the world — I’ve been through this before and I’ve recovered. Yes, perhaps the three-strikes-your-out mentality is apt for this situation… lasting 6 months then 12 months and now 18 months in similar jobs and roles, improving a bit each time but clearly not fast enough to survive.
It tastes bad to be forced out, but the taste is always bittersweet. At the tail end of one opportunity is the beginning of the next, even if I can’t see it yet. I’m optimistic and for once feeling ok about taking some time to just pause and take time to figure it all out. My focus right now is shifted to finding health, happiness, and building a family. Continue reading
There will be plenty of TMI posts this year, so if you prefer to avoid reading about infertility and all the fun that goes along with trying to get pregnant when your body doesn’t work properly, quit reading now. If you want to follow along with my journey attempting to get pregnant, then read ahead.
Infertility can be caused by many different issues — endometriosis, ovulation problems, poor egg quality, PCOS, tube blockages (male and female), sperm problems, sperm allergies, and general unexplained infertility. Or, if you’re really lucky, you can have a combination of any of the above. Continue reading
Finally talked to the infertility pricing specialist today to get the down low on all the costs involved with treatments. The good news is that the basic first cycle (3 months) is “just” $1250 plus $150 for genetic testing, less than $100 for medication and any extra bloodwork required before the cycle begins. So all things considered, it if works, it really isn’t that bad. $2k for a kid is reasonable.
However, if that doesn’t work, that’s when costs start to add up. Mr. HECC needs to get tested. Then we have to try another cycle for another $2k. That may not work. Then we’re on to IVF… Continue reading
*Warning – TMI post. If talk about fertility freaks you out, skip this one.
He sat, staring at me inquisitively, as if he had never seen a 33 year old before – at least one asking about embryo freezing. Quoting various studies and having the sort of semi-formal talk one has in a brief consultation before a casual vaginal ultrasound to check out the ovaries and uterus of yet another infertile woman. I came in seeking answers and options. I left with a sense of hope and more confusion. My case is maybe not that bad – but there are so many variables of things that can be wrong and go wrong that I may be hopeless. We’ll only be able to find out after we spend thousands of dollars. That’s just the way infertility treatments work.
When I was 15, my gynecologist told me to get pregnant by the time I’m 30 and not to worry about my irregular cycles. I later found out these irregular cycles were caused by PCOS. I went through my life to date thinking I probably wouldn’t be able to have kids, or at least not without some serious medical intervention. I hadn’t realized that my husband, who very much wants kids, has also listened to my “I can’t have kids probably” talk one too many times, and has resigned to be ok with us not being able to have our own children.
Last week, I went for these fertility tests they call “Day 3” testing. They tests certain hormone levels to see how fertile you are, generally as the first tests towards doing IVF or egg freezing. I was shocked to find out my levels are all normal. At least according to these basic tests, I should be able to get pregnant. This is good (and surprising) news. Given that my cycle has magically regulated in the last year (I have always in the back of my mind thought my body would let me have kids when I was READY to have kids. I know that’s not how it works but maybe it kind of is for me) maybe I can have kids naturally. Continue reading
Based on my sexual education classes in school, my understanding was that should I so much as stand too close to a man’s nether bits I could get pregnant. The class was clearly designed to ensure we don’t get pregnant, not that we do. At about the same time I was diagnosed with PCOS due to not ever getting my period and told to take birth control and “just get pregnant before you are 30.” I was 15 at the time.
Now that I actually want to reproduce I’ve learned quite a bit more about how the birds and the bees actually work. To start, you really can’t get pregnant most of the time. That was a major shocker to me since in school they taught us that you could get pregnant always. Which, granted, is true if you have a crazy ovulation problem and your body is doing things that aren’t normal. And, you can definitely get pregnant for a few days leading up to when you ovulate and there is no guaranteed test that shows you have or haven’t ovulated — so you might mess up one month and poof you’re preggo. Leggo my preggo. Continue reading
The answer I get re: when is the best time to have kids is “there is never a best time to have kids.” I’m sure that is true, but there is definitely “a time when it becomes harder / impossible to have kids” (at least naturally), so I’m trying to make that deadline without pushing it too much.
When I was younger, I thought 30 was old. I’m now turning 33 in 3 months. Thirty-three is fine age to have kids, but I always thought I’d have my second by 33. Now I’m looking at not yet even having my first.
I’m 32 going on 33 and my biological clock is tick-tock ticking. If I’m going to have at least one child, it’s most likely going to occur within the next 1-3 years of my life. I have significant savings so I can afford to take time off to have a kid, but that doesn’t make the whole lack of maternity leave situation any less stressful.
The US is still the only developed country that doesn’t guarantee paid maternity leave. In fact, the US is one of just two countries in the world that doesn’t ensure any paid time off for new moms, according to a report from the International Labor Organization. The other: Papua New Guinea. Continue reading