Category Archives: Home

We ALMOST Bought a $1.8M House…

And I am, at this moment, regretting not doing it.

$1.8M.

$1-8-0-0-0-0-0-0.

That’s a heck of a lot of cash.

We’re not rich people. We’re not the type of people that should be spending $1M a home, let alone $1.8M.

But — that is what it looks like we HAVE to do if I don’t want a crazy horrible commute and we don’t want to leave the area.

What makes the $1.8M possible is that we’re still strongly leaning towards buying with (AND LIVING WITH) my in laws. The big requirement is that they have a separate living area from us (separate unit on the property or at the least an in law with separate entrance.)

The $1.8M house was super cute. 3 bedroom, 2 bath, with a 400 square foot garage we could convert…

It had its issues. Other than being $1.8M. It had some termite activity, according to the disclosures. The 400 square feet of the garage would be challenging to turn into a real 1 bedroom apartment (my in laws aren’t married but are friends, so they can live in the same unit just need their own rooms.) The lot didn’t seem that big, though I guess it was at 7,500 sq ft, but most of that was in the front yard and in a very long driveway.

I regret not buying it, but I would have regretted buying it.

It was originally a 2br/1ba, and along its life some time an addition was plopped on the back of another bedroom and bath – the master suite. But the suite wasn’t that sizable… a full sized bed felt tight in there. While the home showed quite nicely, the reality was that for $1.8M it was too small for us, given we want to grow our family soon.

But I don’t think anything here will really be the right fit… unless we want to spend $3M+, which we don’t, and we won’t, unless we win the lottery we don’t play.

That said, my husband and I started tracking our joint net worth and it’s about $920k right now. Not too shabby. Mine is about $840k of that! But that’s ok. We’re doing well, yet living in a 1 bedroom apartment. I realized that this year, with my stock and bonus and such, I could clear $300k-$350k before tax ($117k of that I’ve already made as of April 1, which is crazy to think.) If I could maintain this level of income for the next 30 years, sure, we can afford a $1.8M home. But I won’t. I won the job lottery at the moment and am holding on for dear life. In 3 years, I can save a good $300k and we should break $1M in net worth. After we hit $1M, I’ll feel comfortable having another child… but I’m not sure I feel comfortable purchasing a home for $1.5M+. $500k, sure. $800k, maybe. $1M, possibly. $1.8M…

That’s too much for a house. That’s just insane.

My husband makes $80k a year. We aren’t paying for childcare right now, but if his parents got sick that could change any minute and we’d have $2k/ mo right there. With another kid, that’s $4k a month. It just doesn’t add up. Even if his mother puts down $1M and we have a $800,000 mortgage, that’s about $7000 / mo. How does anyone do this?

Should we buy a house with my husband’s parents?

It has become increasingly clear that owning a house in the Bay Area (unless I want a 1.5+ hour each way commute in bumper-to-bumper traffic for the rest of my life) is pretty much an impossible feat on our own.   Theoretically I can become a VP and make $200k a year for the next 30 years of my life, but with my husband’s expected $50k income, we just can’t buy a house on $250k. And that’s IF we both are gainfully employed in such roles for the next 30 years straight.

His parents, not married but quite friendly with each other, are both seemingly interested in purchasing a home with us and living together. My husband, thankfully, realizes it’s not a good idea to live in the actual same house without an in-law unit (attached or dettached), and I’ve recommended if we’re going to go this route we look at duplexes which would be more expensive up front, but would give us more options long term as rental properties should they no longer want to live there for any reason (and we spend more than we would just us since there needs to be space for them.)

Duplexes around here seem to go for anywhere from $1.6M to, well, much higher. A really nice duplex could be $2M. The duplexes don’t come with much of a backyard usually (not that any property here does) but what’s nice about them is that together we might actually be able to afford ownership and the stability that affords.

His father is open to paying $2,000 a month towards a mortgage. I don’t know yet about his mother as she could likely help with the downpayment and then have to pay less monthly for a while (she apparently has most of her savings in cash, for better or worse.) Then, between all of us, maybe we could afford an $8k monthly mortgage. And, although I’m not quite sure how it would work, I think we could split the mortgage interest deduction three ways (since they’re not married) and thus actually be able to take the full deduction (though it would be worth much less to retired people, and I’m not sure it would be worth much of anything at all to them.)

I’m torn on whether living with his parents makes sense. His father is already offering to help out with the kiddo and I wouldn’t mind living with his dad if his father had an in-law type unit, or we had a duplex. He is very quiet and a nice, introverted guy that isn’t bothered by much. He’s a bit older too, in his 70s, and I think he just wants to spend time with his grandkid, which I appreciate. And it would be nice for my child to have a grandma it is close with (since my dad is across the country and due to his cancer may not be around that much longer unfortunately.) He currently lives in a very small one bedroom apartment in a 55+ apartment complex and I think his quality of life would increase substantially should he live in a house. He’s been sending my husband links to houses for rent with makeshift in-law units so clearly he’s very big on this idea of living together.  It certainly makes sense to offer him decreased rent/mortgage payments in trade for helping out with the baby.

His mother is a bit of a different story. She’s also quiet and independent, but she’s a mess. Like, more of a mess than I am. I’m a mess, but she’s like a “I have a bunch of cats I gathered from the outside and a billion purchases from thrift stores I’m hoarding” a mess. My husband knows this, and doesn’t want to live with her if she will continue this behavior. But he seems pretty confident she will change if she moves into a new space (she lives in her own parents house now, and her parents also collected  lot of junk so that place is just chaotic.) She isn’t ready to move yet, but her mother is in her 90s and eventually she will have to leave the house and find somewhere else to live. At that point, we could all put our savings together and find a home that works.

I wish the duplexes weren’t so expensive. While I’m still a little concerned that she would let the house become disgusting, if she lived with my husband’s father I don’t think it would happen. I mean, maybe her room (if we had a duplex with a 2br for them) would be messy, but the rest of the place and the outside areas wouldn’t be. If they were detached units on the same property, that wouldn’t be so bad.

The other option is to rent a house that happens to have a room with a private entrance. This wouldn’t work with his mother, but she’s not ready to move right now anyway. My husband’s father would move in a heartbeat. I think we’re still pretty set on staying in this apartment for the first year of our kid’s life, but it really might make the most sense to move now since the first year is when grandpa will be helping out the most (and taking 30 minute train rides to get here, since grandpa doesn’t drive.)

I’m pretty certain if I pushed for it and found the perfect place, we could move in together next month. I’m not sure that makes any sense though — our rent is now about $2500 a month. So we’d have to find a house that is $4500 a month max. The houses around here that are $4500 are not that nice, and I haven’t seen any with in-law type units. We could maybe get a regular 2br/1ba for $4500 a month… but I think we all agree that living in the same house–especially with one bathroom–is a bad idea.

So we’ll probably just stay in this apartment at least for a year, but be opportunistic in purchasing should the right property come along. His mother may change things if she needs to move sooner than later. But we’ll see. I do think her savings would make it possible for us all to purchase something a bit nicer. If we could split taxes on the property 3 ways, that would help as well, since there is the $10k per person/couple limit on that deduction now, including income tax.

What do you think? Should I consider a duplex or house with in-law purchase? Should we rent a house? Should we wait?

 

moving-boxes-things-forget

To Move or Not To Move… That is the Question

7 months, 3 weeks in counting until the arrival of baby “E” (we have two names picked out for girl or boy child, both start with E, so calling it baby E .) 7 months, 3 weeks is not that much time before our lives change forever.

Outside of finally figuring out how to keep my apartment clean, focusing on obtaining stability at my job, and trying to eat healthy and exercise and such, I’m perturbed  by our housing situation and whether or not we should move or stay put. The general consensus until my anxiety attack of this last week was stay put until kid is 1, then figure it out / move to a two bedroom / etc. Continue reading

Lessons in Adulting: How Much Should Living Room Furniture Cost?

When we moved in together two years ago, my Craigslist-purchased couch with ripped cushions and protruding feathers, along with my once-glued together, now peeling-apart IKEA coffee table and self-desctructive Tar-gey bookshelves which are not safe to be around a small child, seemed perfectly fine for a trancient space. With barren white walls and a few half-filled and altogether empty frames scattered about the floor, this now-married couple is trying to figure out how to create a place that feels like “home” without overdoing it (you know, like we (…ahem… I) overdid our wedding.)

Right now, we really can’t have guests over because the place is embarrassing, even on its good days when I’ve cleaned up the piles of mess. Our lease is up in May, but it is doubtful we will move next year or anytime soon (the only real reasons for us to move is 1 – rents going up an unreasonable amount, 2 – we have a child and said child turns 2, or 3, one of us gets a job super far away, like, in another state, and we need to move.) Otherwise, it looks like we’re hunkered down for a few more years in our 800-square foot, overpriced-due-to-Silicon-Valley-rental-costs abode.

This furniture has got to go. Continue reading