All posts by Joy

$1700 and a Neuropsychological Screening Later…

I swear I’m not a mental health hypochondriac. Something is clearly wrong with me and I wanted to get to the bottom of it. Although I initially sought to find an in-network therapist, my insurance results were filled with doctors that no longer were covered or didn’t serve adult populations. When I found Dr. W., I was getting pretty hopeless and further depressed. Dr. W. didn’t provide weekly therapy – he offered neuropsychological testing for the low price of $1700 and, since he was actually covered* by my insurance, I thought, what the heck, might as well see if this would help me identify what’s really going on so I can attack those issues head on.

It’s rather frustrating to go through a neuropsychological test and to be told that it’s impossible to know if insurance will cover it because that all depends on the results of the test. Usually these tests are used for children or young adults who are struggling in school, so a part of me felt like this was going to be a huge waste. However, I wanted answers, and insurance may pay for this exam – or it may not – or it may go towards my deductible. Who the hell knows. By going through insurance at all I’d be adding one more pre-existing condition to my repertoire, meaning that once Obamacare is repealed and if I ever want to consult again for a living I won’t be able to get insurance. However, since I already have pre-existing conditions on my medical health history it doesn’t really matter at this point. I’m screwed either way. Continue reading

The Slow March of Death: My Father’s Cancer and Necessary Denial of Mortality

Yesterday, I joked with my husband that it’s difficult to say “poor dad” in any scenario. My father, with his chronic narcissism, is quick to blame you with a massive guilt trip for any slight mistake, to debate your opinion to the ground telling you you’re flat out wrong, and to make thousands of careless mistakes only to get extremely angry at you if you dare to call him out on any of them. Yesterday was a day when “poor dad” would be the tinge of empathy I feel for him bubbles to the surface.

It has been nearly 10 years since the doctors told him that he has an aggressive form of late-stage prostate cancer and he had “two years” to live. He is 67, and with all his health issues – his obesity, his diabetes which he fails to keep in check, and the cancer which was supposed to take his life long ago, has surpassed the lifetime of Carrie Fisher and many others who have died too young. Still, there is never a good time to die, and despite his personality shortcomings we all want him to live as long as possible and as comfortably as possible. I had a bit of a breakdown years ago about his looming mortality, and then as time passed and the drug concoctions they put him on started to slow down the growth of his cancer we all just put the thoughts of death out of our minds. He briefly lost weight and seemed a bit happier. Then he returned his old habits – overeating, yelling horrible things at my mother, and being his typical anxious, narcissistic, grouchy self. Continue reading

2016 Spending

Although I saved a substantial sum in 2016, I definitely overspent in many areas. It was the year of my wedding so even though my parents contributed a sizable sum to the event, I splurged and spent too much on it outside of their contribution. We did a small “mini moon” which also cost something, but in 2017 we will splurge on a bigger international honeymoon. Here is a quick overview of how my spending went into 2016…

Income (after tax and 401k): $112.4k
Spending: $81.2k
(remaining / savings: $31.2k + $18k  (401k) = $49.2k saved)

Auto & Transport: $5.1k
Bills & Utilities: $1.5k
Education: $2.2k
Entertainment: $1.37k
Fees: $443
Food: $11.7k (yikes)
Gifts: $1.67k
Health: $5.4k (not counting insurance)
Home (rent and home things): $17.3k
Personal Care: $4k
Shopping: $14.8k
Wedding: $9.6k
Travel: $6.2k Continue reading

Happy New Year: Embracing Myself as Myself

 

Quite randomly I ended up taking a neuropsychological screening this week. Well, it wasn’t entirely random. I was attempting to find a therapist (psychologist, psychiatrist, MFT, social worker, what have you) that accepted my insurance plan since theoretically I am supposed to be able to have $20-per-session visits for outpatient mental healthcare. Searching my insurance provider’s website however returned the names of hundreds of doctors who are no longer practicing or specialists for something that, despite being rather special myself, I’m not special enough for (i.e. serves youth or geriatric patients only.) I admit I didn’t call the entire list, but after about 20 google searches, emails and contacts I felt like giving up. Then, I found someone who responded to my email and said he was covered by my insurance (sort of) and could help.

This doctor didn’t do talk therapy. Instead, he is a neuropsychologist who does neuropsychological screenings. What on earth is that? Yesterday I found out. The screening itself is $1700. Insurance may cover that BUT they only decide after you get evaluated. Also, I believe it goes to my deductible anyway, so I’m basically paying for it out of pocket, or at least out of FSA. So much for the $20 per session mental healthcare. Continue reading

Here’s To Getting Pregnant in 2017

There will be plenty of TMI posts this year, so if you prefer to avoid reading about infertility and all the fun that goes along with trying to get pregnant when your body doesn’t work properly, quit reading now. If you want to follow along with my journey attempting to get pregnant, then read ahead.

Infertility can be caused by many different issues — endometriosis, ovulation problems, poor egg quality, PCOS, tube blockages (male and female), sperm problems, sperm allergies, and general unexplained infertility. Or, if you’re really lucky, you can have a combination of any of the above. Continue reading

2016 Networth Checkin: $416,583

Incredibly, 2016 has come to a close. My networth goal for 2016 was  somewhere between $400k and $500k from last year’s $352k finish. I didn’t get (anywhere near) $500k, but I still feel accomplished given my mental health and spending more than I wanted to on my wedding this year. I’ve concluded 2016 with $416,583 in networth, including:

  • $14k in cash
  • $188k in taxable investment accounts
  • $204k in retirement accounts
  • $9.9k in college 529 (for grad school or future kids)

My goals for 2017 are:

  • $15k in cash
  • $250k in taxable investment accounts
  • $225k in retirement accounts
  • $10k+in college 529

TOTAL: $500,000

It will be tough, but this goal should be do-able if I either stay in my current job or find another one that pays close to this one. Even if I reduce my current salary by $20k I should be able to still hit this goal. I must save $84,000 in the next 12 months, or $7000 per month. This is definitely do-able with my current job (I make about $10k after taxes per month), but if I reduce that to $9k per month I can manage to save enough. Any less than that it would be challenging with my current rent and other recurring fees.

I am worried about the costs of infertility treatments (that will definitely ruin my networth goal for the year) but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. Even though my mental health is poor right now I know I will feel a huge sense of relief when achieving $500k in networth. It has been a dream of mine since forever ago to achieve half a million in networth prior to giving birth. Well, as I’m not pregnant yet I have AT LEAST nine months before I need to get to $500k. At this rate I’ll have more than nine months to get there.

Joining J. Money’s Million Dollar Club

million-dollar-club-1

Today, I’m taking a pledge and – being one of the last to the party – to join J. Money’s Million Dollar Club. I’ve already unofficially been a member since I’m working towards $1M (well, $2M is my financial freedom money goal) but this makes it all more official. Plus, hopefully he’ll add me to his fancy list. I like lists.

I would like to become a millionaire by the time I’m 45 (or sooner) independent of any wealth my husband is accumulating. This puts me well on my way towards $2M+ in individual networth AND means that when my (hypothetical) children are in their pre-teen and teen years I can be more flexible with my career and actually see my kids before they’re out of the house, married off, and spending time with kids of their own (tear. boy do they grow up fast.)

In order for me, Her Every Cent Counts, to become a millionaire by 45, I pledge to do the following:

1. Invest an average of $5000 per month for the next 10 years (between taxable accounts and retirement accounts)

2. Max out my 401k each year for the next 10 years (or every year I have access to a retirement plan through work) even without match (because let’s face it I’ll never work for a company that offers a match.

3. Live in my 1 bedroom rented apartment with Mr. HECC for as long as possible (i.e. until our first child is two) even though I would much prefer to live in a 2-3 bedroom house. Only buy a house after I have $750k-$1M saved for retirement that I don’t need to touch, so it can grow to $2M by the time I retire.

4. Continue to drive my used 2011 car until it dies (but invest the appropriate amount into keeping it in good shape.) Never buy new cars.

5. When possible, increase my monthly savings beyond $5000 (for instance, I can save up to $7000 right now per month if I’m extremely frugal) but don’t let being “ahead” of my net worth goal at any moment in time change my savings rates.

6. Put aside any additional income (bonuses, tax refunds, extra income) into my investment accounts.

7. Find a career that enables me to consistently save $5000 per month for the next 10 years (which means that I can’t go back to grad school unfortunately so I likely have to stay in my current career and just learn to suck it up.)

8. Gain skills and keep up to date with latest skills to become highly valuable as a consultant in my industry so I can potentially earn more money working for myself and enjoy my life more.

9. If needed, move to an area of the country with a lower cost of living (but only if I can continue saving $5000 consistently per month for the next 10 years)

10. Invest in experiences only, especially travel before kids and family vacations after kids. Rotate cheap vacations (camping) with fancier ones (Hawaii). Any additional income (if income increases) should be split between savings, “life experience” fund and housing fund.

 

 

 

Depression Is…

I write here, anonymously, because adolescent angst is no longer all the rage when you’re 33. For those of you who regularly read my blog, I apologize for the negative tone it has taken as of late. I just use this as a place to anonymously document my life in all its bitter glory. Life isn’t really all that bad, so I ought to just shut up entirely about these thoughts and feelings that come into my head. But without having this venue to share, I might just explode – or implode.

Thank god I’m so terrified of death because killing myself is such a remarkably attractive option right now. I know it’s a long term solution to a short-term problem and I’m not going to do it. But nothing else makes sense right now. Honestly, when I think of all the possibilities in the world there is no positive outcome in sight. I’m tired, exhausted even, of my overthinking, of my overeating, of my failure to do my jobs well which might be  due to the fact I am lacking in abilities or skill or training or maybe I’m just horrible at consistency or perhaps I’m flat out dumb, at least in terms of real-world job skills. Continue reading

Here’s To the Dreamers: A La La Land Review Among Other Things

The best movies touch every audience member in a different way, but have a clear world picture of what they want to say. La La Land is one of those movies, and I highly recommend you see it (spoilers enclosed) — the film follows the lives of two dreamers – a young actress and jazz musician in Los Angeles who are chasing their dreams. The film starts out with the actress (Emma Stone) working at a coffee shop on a film lot and the jazz musician (Ryan Gosling) getting fired for playing unconventional jazz music he wrote at a restaurant gig after being warned not to by his boss. Then it follows their lives over the next five years through a love story that’s more focused on how hard it is to chase your dreams than it is on the love story itself. In the end everyone gets what they want, well, sort of – at least in terms of their careers.

For anyone who ever chased a dream or is chasing one right now, they can relate to the film in that context – how hard it is to chase a dream, and the hope that maybe some day it will all work out (and the reality that even when it does not everything works out even a fairytale ending is met with the reality that nothing always is perfect, and you always have to sacrifice to reach your dreams.) For those of us who are too afraid to chase our dreams, it gives us hope that maybe it’s not too late – maybe it just requires someone to nudge us along the way, whether that’s a tap-dancing romeo or a voice within. Of course, for every success story of dream following there are a million that never come to fruition.  Continue reading