The Good, the Bad, the Ugly: A Contract with 2017

2017 – how did you get here so quickly? Time continues to fly by, and  although my bank account is looking healthier than it did a few years ago, I am still the same old person. 2017 already looks a bit shaky given our political climate (how on earth did Trump get elected president? So #unpresidented). Anyway, 2017, here are some things I want to accomplish in you — which sounds awkward but you are a year and therefore I’m not doing anything obscene by entering your cavernous orifices via January 1.

Goal #1: Kick Ass At My / A Job for At Least 6 Months

I’m starting to get the hang of work. In order to succeed, one must be very focused on accomplishing a set of objectives each week, month, quarter and half. Thinking in terms of a year is too long. I tend to obsess over the future and potential outcomes which doesn’t actually help even if I tend to be more intuitive than my peers and often right – it doesn’t matter if you’re right when you’re long gone. Now, my current company is unlikely to keep me around for all of 2017. If I had to put a bet on it, I expect to be tossed out by March or June at the latest, even if I do the best I can right now. With the new VP hire I’m screwed – my expectation is that this hire has been told he/she can keep or dispose of me based on their needs and my performance, which is totally fair, except that type of an explanation basically means either I must be god’s gift to my profession or I’m out to open up a headcount for one of the VP’s existing minions. In any case, right now the goal is 6 months of INCREDIBLE work. Not just ok work. Not just occasional amazing work followed by periods of I can’t get shit done depression and paranoia – just six months of solid incredible performance here or at my next gig.

Goal #2: Focus on my Relationship with Mr. HECC

Relationships are tough, especially when you’re married and you travel a lot for work / are never home. I need to focus on keeping the house clean and also on coming up with activities to do with him outside of sitting around and watching TV. It’s good for both of us to get out and go hiking and exist outside of our 800 square foot apartment. My husband is really great and understands that I’m busy with work all the time and isn’t upset by it, but I also realize that often the only times I see him is when I’m so tired I just want to pass out. Good thing he loves to cuddle (he should win the Olympics of cuddling)  but we need more than that in our relationship – especially, you know, if we want to make offspring in the next year, which leads me to #3…

Goal #3: Get Pregnant with HECC Jr. #1

Well, fuck. 2017 is the year when I really want to get pregnant. I’m 33/34 this year, and I would very much so like to be pregnant with my first child before 34. I’m not sure if that will happen given my PCOS and inability to wake my ovarian follicles up long enough to send an egg into the abyss of my innards in a typical healthy, normal way — but with Clomid or its equivalents I’m still hopeful I can get pregnant fairly easily. If that doesn’t work, I’ll likely start IVF by the end of the year. It’s really time to get this show on the road. I want kids, Mr. HECC wants kids, and I’m finally ok with figuring out what the hell to do once kid(s) show up. I’ve even accepted that we’ll live in our one bedroom apartment for the first year or two of our child’s life, and that’s ok. I don’t need my 3 bedroom house with a kid’s room and a family room and living room and large master bedroom – just yet. That can be a goal for 2019 or 2020. Babies don’t need that much space, and I’ll get strong arm muscles carrying my newborn up a flight of stairs every day.

Goal #4: Go on a  Honeymoon – for at least 2 weeks

While I’m glad we didn’t go on a real honeymoon right after our wedding (the international, stressful yet wonderful type) – but I REALLY want to do this before we have a kid. I’m ok now if I’m going to be pregnant on the trip – though I’d prefer not to be – but I can’t put that off any longer. The plan is to try naturally until honeymoon and then start on the clomid right after (honeymoon June/July timeframe, or maybe I bump that up to March/April depending on how the work situation is going.) We’re not sure yet where we are going to go… options include New Zealand/Tahiti, Italy/Switzerland, Copenhagen/Sweden, Iceland/Scotland/Netherlands, Japan/South Korea or… well there are so many places I want to go and at this point picking one or two is tough. I’ve only been to England, France, Italy, Israel, Hungary, Czech Republic, Croatia, Thailand, Singapore, Austria, Canada, Portugal and, of course, the US. Most of those locations I’d go back to in order to see more of the country… traveling with kids is possible but much harder and won’t happen for many years as I’ll be back-to-back pregnant for the next 3-4 years. Any thoughts on where we should go? I’m worried (rationally) about Zika so a lot of places that I had originally thought about are off limits.

Goal #5: Eat Healthy and Be Healthy

This is hard one. The hardest. In 2016 I lost 35 pounds (175 to 140) and virtually gained it all back. (BAH.) I hate thinking about what I have to do to do this again, but at least I know it’s doable. Basically low-ish carbs, no sugar binges, and work out for 1 hour 3 times a week with mix of cardio and weights. I hate exercise and in this type of depression funk the only thing that helps me get through it is stuffing my face with every junk food in sight. It’s bad. I need to stop. If I want to get pregnant, being healthy is key. It won’t guarantee I will get pregnant, but science points to it helping quite a bit. I don’t know if I’ll get down to 140 again but if I can lose 4 pounds a month consistently and let’s say I’m 175 now I should be able to get to 150 by June (which is basically what I did last year at this time.) I’d like to be at 140 to have kids, but I’ll settle on a goal of 150. I also want to actually keep the weight off this time. It’s so easy to gain it back. I knew what I was doing to myself and I couldn’t stop binge eating. It’s especially challenging when traveling so much for work, but that’s no excuse. Plenty of people travel and stay healthy, it just takes focus and commitment and refusing to eat crap.

I think those are five very good and practical goals for 2017. Financially speaking, I’d like to see 2017 to be my $500k / half million in networth year. Not sure if that will happen (all depends on the job situation) so I’m going to scale that goal back to $450k saved by end of 2017… but if I can hit $500k AND all of the above goals things will be really great. If I can just hold on to my current job for the next 12 months I could actually get there – or I get a new role and just kick ass before I get pregnant and then figure out what life holds for my career and otherwise  after I give birth (in 2018.)

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