When I was 15, my gynecologist told me to get pregnant by the time I’m 30 and not to worry about my irregular cycles. I later found out these irregular cycles were caused by PCOS. I went through my life to date thinking I probably wouldn’t be able to have kids, or at least not without some serious medical intervention. I hadn’t realized that my husband, who very much wants kids, has also listened to my “I can’t have kids probably” talk one too many times, and has resigned to be ok with us not being able to have our own children.
Last week, I went for these fertility tests they call “Day 3” testing. They tests certain hormone levels to see how fertile you are, generally as the first tests towards doing IVF or egg freezing. I was shocked to find out my levels are all normal. At least according to these basic tests, I should be able to get pregnant. This is good (and surprising) news. Given that my cycle has magically regulated in the last year (I have always in the back of my mind thought my body would let me have kids when I was READY to have kids. I know that’s not how it works but maybe it kind of is for me) maybe I can have kids naturally.
That doesn’t change that I’m getting old. Giving birth old anyway. I’ll be 33 in a month. So freezing my eggs as embryos seems like a very good idea. I realized that the medical group where I see my doctor has very low ratings for their fertility clinic, so I started looking around. Their initial consultation was also $800 which, I found out, is rather high. Two other places I called were $350, which seems like a better option to just find out if I’m really eligible for this program.
I made a phone consultation with one group next week and an in-person screening at an other – it’s surreal to start on this process but also feels really good to be taking my life and future into my own hands. The place I am visiting in person will go through the full $350 consult and they also have payment plans for embryo freezing (the total is something like $12k to freeze the eggs and $1k a year for storage). I’m thinking I should do this ASAP so i get the egg out and then in the next year attempt to have my first child naturally. The only concern I have is that if I can’t then I have to go and spend a lot of money on the IVF right away, whereas it may make sense to wait to do the IVF and egg freezing at the same time. I’m not sure how it works, I have a lot of questions for the doctor next week.
It does again suck to be a woman because of all this shit that we have to deal with. If I move forward with this I will have to stab myself with needles for a while and have to get my eggs sucked out of me under light anesthesia. Who knows what it will do to my hormones/emotions/general well-being during that time. All this while I still have to, you know, go to work and do all the other things adult life entails. And it’s not like I can just tell my boss “hey I’m in the process of having my eggs frozen so please excuse me for feeling like ass.” I mean, I can say that, but that would be weird. I’ll just try to hide it if I go forward with the procedure and hopefully not miss any or too much of work.
I’ll report back on what I learn from my first visit. My reg doc says she thinks I can prob get pregnant just taking metformin which she prescribed me for my pre-pre-diabeties. In any case, my goal is to be pregnant by the time I turn 34 AND have my “32/33 year old” eggs frozen as embryos for baby #2 and any more we decide to have later. I think it’s a good plan and I’m feeling really solid about it. I’ve felt so out of control of my life and future but this puts me in control. I still want kid #1 very soon but now this will give me options. I still feel a bit alone in this (husband is too busy to attend the first consult with me, so I’ll be going by myself – which is totally fine, he’s not needed until much later in the process) but still I’m also very busy but I have to get this done. I hope it all works.