Anxiety doesn’t begin to cover it. Within the next 26 days my boyfriend and I need to find an apartment where we will live for — at least — the next year. And no matter what, even if we live in some crappy area, our rent is going to significantly go up upon moving in together. It’s giving me major panic attacks.
He’s committed to a maximum of $800 in rent ($850 if we find a place that’s absolutely amazing.) That means we have to find a place for under $1600 if I want the rent payments to be equal. I do make more than him by about $40k, so right now I’d be ok with paying a little more. The problem is my job situation is very up in the air right now and I could easily go from making more than him to being on unemployment. I’d rather stick to an $800 monthly max for myself as well. That leaves us with very few options, and still a person $150 a month rent increase.
It’s doubly challenging when I don’t know where my job will be. I can move somewhere that’s convenient for my job right now, but in six months I can be in an entirely different location. Traffic around here can be bad — I’d prefer to move closer to where I’ll be working, not further away from it.
The stress is bad. I’m continually dizzy and distracted. I just want to find a place and move. Every place we’ve looked at for under $1600 a month is a shit hole. I’m tempted to just pay up to $1000 so we can get a $1800 place, but I’m terrified of losing my job and having to pay $1000 rent on unemployment. I pretty much want to pack up my stuff and leave Silicon Valley for good.
As the stock market continues to fall, I fall apart. I’m not so much worried about the daily change in the market, but the fact that I’ll never save the suggested $3.5M+ I’m supposed to have in retirement. It seemed possible with my $650 a month rent. But now life is just going to get more and more expensive. I’m already back to $240,000 (after hitting $257k networth early January.) So this is why I’m massively depressed and ridden with really bad anxiety. I don’t know what to do.