Relationship & Life Next Steps: Moving in Together

I’m 28 and this March my boyfriend of 6+ years will turn 30. Even though I’m quite content with my current arrangement — living with two roommates and paying $650 a month in rent, while my bf lives at home in the back of his grandparents/mothers house.

But I’m also wondering, what’s next?

I’m ready to take the next step and move in with my boyfriend, and he’s ready to move in with me, minus the logistics. My rent situation right now is financially smart, and he’s not even paying rent (which works since he’s working PT and quitting soon.)

Looking at our options:

Stay in our current situation until we get married: Rent will stay $650 / month for a while, my landlord rarely increases rent and I just had a $15 / mo increase. Probably the smartest move. We’ll move in together in 2013/2014 after we get married.

Rent a 1br Apartment: This will likely cost $1600 – $2000 / month. Even split between the two of us, that’s $800 / mo at the very cheapest, more likely $1000 / mo for each of us.

Buy a 1br Condo: $600k? It’s hard to figure out the exact costs of owning a 1br condo, but it seems like this will end up being quite a bit more than renting given HOA, taxes, and other fees.

Buy a house w/ an in-law: My bf’s parents currently do not own property. His mom lives in her parents house, and his father rents an in-law. His mother could feasibly help us out with a downpayment, and his parents could live in an in-law on our property and pay us rent.

Still, the best plan seems to be to stay in my current living situation. Paying $650 a month in rent means I can possibly save $50k per year. The second my living situation changes, my hope of saving $250k by 30 disappears. The house I want to buy when I have a family will likely be $1.5M, and my bf currently has $0 in savings, so it’s up to me to be able to afford that. If I can get to $500k in savings by 35, maybe I can buy a $1.5M house. I’m not sure if that’s enough, and I’m also not sure I can get to $250M in savings by 35 — I think if I spend the next seven years living with roommates, not with my boyfriend, I could do this. But that’s a long time, and I really want to start living my adult life with my boyfriend in our own place, so we can invite friends over for dinner and such, and so I can stay with him and not have to worry about not having my things and having to run home before going to work in the morning.

Meanwhile, if I save $500k by 35, I’ll be able to buy my (nice) childhood home outright in New Jersey! It’s crazy how cheap the housing is there.

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4 comments

  1. erin says:

    Oh do not move in together. You're going to end up supporting his lazy ass and resent it. Really a PT job and he's quiting at 30????

  2. Leigh says:

    It sounds like your current situation is really the best financial move. Your boyfriend currently isn't paying any rent, which means that your total rent cost between the two of you is $650. Renting a 1 bedroom apartment and sharing it between the two of you would almost triple your overall rent cost. I would say that unless you want to raise kids in a condo, I would avoid buying a condo at 27/28.

    Since paying more in rent would almost entirely fall on your shoulders, I think you should wait until you get married to move in together. And that way, you can keep saving more towards buying a house later, when you want to have kids.

  3. Michelle says:

    I'm glad I live in the Midwest, where housing is super cheap! And that's a lot of options. I would probably choose the cheapest for now so that more can be saved, but then again, I have lived with my boyfriend forever and I can't imagine living without him.

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