Weddings are strange capitalistic creatures, especially in America. There are frugal weddings – which can be very personal and lovely – and then there’s the big “wedding venue” wedding, where it’s easy to suddenly spend an extra $10,000 and not be sure how it happened.
My wedding was the later. One of the days I’ll get around to writing a post tallying up all the costs — but I estimate that after my and my family’s generous contributions, the wedding cost $70k-$80k (my budget was a very reasonable $50k – but clearly I failed at staying in budget.) Do I regret going over budget? Not exactly. I’m the all or nothing type, and even though our wedding wasn’t huge by east coast standards (we had about 130 guests, minus a few last-min no shows.) I regret things that I didn’t know then — I regret pouring money into things that I thought would solve for potential issues, when I missed many cost-free opportunities to prevent the magical and glorious nightmare that was my wedding day. Continue reading
This isn’t the life I imagined, but let’s be real, I didn’t have the ability to imagine much of a life at all. At 34, I’m constantly perplexed but how I got here, and so fast. I’m suddenly an old mom, especially an old first-time mom. Not quite a 40-year-old mom, but old enough that I’m bewildered by the majority of women in my Facebook group who are in their teens and twenties who are having a child, often their second or third. I ask myself briefly, did I wait too long for this?
But then, I’m grateful for having the time in my life to get somewhat settled. I haven’t made as much progress in my mental health as I would have liked — I still have panic attacks, still suffer with depression, still am too sensitive to every stimuli and fail to think rationally in any situation requiring at outcome for myself. If this doesn’t make me sound like someone who is set to be nominated for future mom of the year, I know I’m not going to be a perfect mom. Maybe in my 20s I would have wanted to be. Today, I know better. Continue reading
The whole “being pregnant” and going into “nesting” mode is real. I’ve been spending way too many hours scouring Redfin and Zillow despite knowing that I can’t afford a home here, other than maybe a 1 bed, 1 bath in a really bad part of the bad part of town.
So. I’m trying to focus my energy on longer-term, more realistic goals, while also ensuring that I keep my job in order to hit them.
- Age: I turn 35(!)
- Networth: Close out the year at $645k-$650k
- Housing: Live in 1 bedroom / 1 bath apartment (50% = $14.1k yr)
- 401k: invest $22.5k
- Stocks: invest $30k
- Baby #1: born, 0 – 5 mo
- Baby #2: not born yet
I’m not sold that the American Dream of a white picket fence is the wisest financial move in the grande scheme of things. But, at 34 and pregnant with my first child, I long for the stability of a home with at least a small backyard and just – space.
Even though my networth is $540k, I’ve never felt stable enough in my career to purchase property. I thought by now I would – but I don’t and I don’t think I ever will. Given my husband is going back to school and will be starting over with a job making $50k, if we’re ever going to own it’s pretty much all on me. We can certainly rent a house – but when my child gets older, I’m afraid of having to downsize due to losing a job. I almost feel better about staying in a one bedroom apartment with the kid, and saving for as long as possible. Plenty of people do it, why can’t I? Continue reading
I’m a PPO girl — and as of Jan 1, I’ve dived headfirst into the wonderful(?) world of HMOs. Kaiser HMO to be exact. Why? Because, although with health insurance one cannot be 100% clear what anything will cost, it appears had I stayed on Anthem PPO my pregnancy would cost somewhere between $6000 and $1M (exaggeration at the high end, slightly), whereas Kaiser, outside of premiums, would be free – or almost free?
It really is ridiculous how much childbirth costs in the US vs the rest of the world. Kaiser offers refuge to those of us who would prefer not to spend what’s equal to one year of daycare to help our child escape our uterus and enter the world.
My biggest problem in the workplace is that I’m incapable of estimating how long projects will take — especially when they involve delegating work to others and/or finding outside vendors for that project. My new job requires lots of this, and it’s becoming more and more apparent but the day that this has the potential to put a significant wrench in my plan to stay in this role for at least four years.
I have the opportunity to be successful in this role. I have a supportive boss who believes in my general ability. But he has big goals and my role in achieving those goals is not a small one – which is great – I have an important position that can really move the needle. I have a chance to make a difference for the whole team, and to maybe, finally, contribute consistent quality work. Continue reading
Hello World! I’m back. I wasn’t actually gone to begin with – but I had a minor fiasco with my hosting provider that was partially my fault but turned into a bigger train wreck of a situation than it needed to be.
Last month I realized my credit card was lost/misplaced/stolen, so I called Amex to report it missing. At the same time, I noticed a very weird charge on my account for $372 — given my credit card had been missing and I didn’t recognize the merchant, I thought the card had been stolen and said I did not make the charge. Continue reading
As my portfolio increases, I’ve stopped paying enough attention to how it’s actually performing. My current taxable portfolio ($267.5k) is detailed below. I have about the same amount in my retirement portfolio, which I’ll cover in another post.
Note, a few stocks are listed twice because I’ve purchased them in two different accounts. My taxable stock accounts include FolioFirst (formerly Loyal3), Robinhood, Sharebuilder and Vanguard. Continue reading
DH (Dear Husband) and I have invested so much into the whole infertility process and trying to get pregnant, that we hadn’t approached getting pregnant in the way I’d prefer: having the major financial matters solved or at least tentatively agreed on prior to having a child. Continue reading
I’ve been failing at creating a spreadsheet that accurately tracks my portfolio performance and compares this to the same investment in the stock market. I’m going to try this a slightly different way… via, not a spreadsheet (which should make it easy but doesn’t) and instead, in the form of a blog post. Let’s see if this works… Continue reading